Goodbye, My Sweet Love
by Dying Swan
Summary: Hermione relfects on her love for Ron before doing something drastic.


A/N: This is the same story as "Goodbye, My Love" but the straight version. I had a few requests for a nonslash version, and I wanted to write one anyways. Enjoy!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I sit there, gazing at you. Your beautiful red hair, your sparkling blue eyes. You don't look up. Why should you?  
  
You told me I should forget you. But you knew I never could. It would be like asking me to love Malfoy. Impossible. But I am nothing to you now, just a friend.  
  
You turn toward Harry and joke about what Snape just said. Then, I see you turn to Lavender. You gently touch her arm as you repeat the joke, but with more hope that she will laugh. I see that you love her more than you ever loved me. Did you even love me at all?  
  
Did you just say that to keep my tears from falling? To stop me from doing the unspeakable and ending my life? This only drives me to do that more.  
  
I let my hair fall over my face, disguising my tears. They fall freely now. I have no one to hide them from.  
  
Do you remember that night by the lake? It was the first day after the Christmas holidays.  
  
I remember you were wearing the sweater your mother always sent you. Only this year it was different. It wasn't maroon. She had remembered that you hated it. Well, that's what you thought.  
  
In truth, I had sent her an owl a week before Christmas asking her to make you a navy blue one with a broomstick on it. Because Quiddich made you happy.  
  
It was one of the only things that brought you joy. You loved to feel the wind blowing through your hair, but you also loved being out on the field with your beloved Lavender. She had become a Chaser after Angelina left.  
  
Of course, you didn't know I suspected it from the beginning. You hoped I saw your love for her as friendly. But I was Hermione Granger, and I was smarter than that.  
  
You would always hug her after a match, congratulating her on her incredible victory. Sometimes you even forgot I was there, waiting for you, to congratulate you on your great game. You would leave with Harry and her, never looking back. But I was there. Every time, I was there, waiting, watching, hoping that you would remember your so-called girlfriend. But you never did.  
  
But that night by the lake, it was different. You seemed to forget all about Lavender and just focus on me. I was happy then.  
  
That was the first time you told me you loved me. Maybe you meant it. Maybe it was just a reaction to what I had said earlier that day.  
  
I had told you that I was scared of losing you, and that if I did, I wouldn't be able to live with it. You knew I wasn't joking, because you felt the same way. But not about me.  
  
You would never end your life just because of me. I was just a friend, a cover up for your true love. But I would have died for you.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I am back at that spot by the lake. I look into the water. It is clear, yet very deep. I sigh, happily remembering that night once more. It is my favorite memory.  
  
I turn around. You are waiting for the carriage to take you to the train. I spend the next few minutes admiring you.  
  
Soon, the carriages arrive. Everyone begins to load onto them, each one turning to look at Hogwarts for their last time. Some of them will become Aurors, some will join the Ministry of Magic. But not me.  
  
I watch as Harry turns to look at his school for the last time. Then, he glances at the lake. He notices me.  
  
"Oi, Hermione! Hurry and get on before we leave you here forever!" he calls out jokingly. I smile. He doesn't know that he in fact will be leaving me here forever.  
  
After Harry, you come. You too look at me. I look at you and the pain inside me grows. You smile at me, whether by force or because I am your friend. I smile back and the tears start to fall.  
  
You get onto the carriage and I struggle to keep the picture of your smile in my head. I have looked at you for the last time, and I am happy.  
  
I turn to the lake and look down. The water looks ever so inviting. You would never have died for me, but I would for you. I am.  
  
I sigh, glancing in your direction one last time. "Goodbye, my sweet love," I whisper as I take a step off of the land.  
  
The water is pleasant, not cold but not hot either. I let it swallow me. The bottom is not visible yet, and I doubt that I will last that long to see it. Soon, blackness surrounds me and your smile fades from my mind. Everything fades.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
THE END  
  
A/N: Ok, I don't know how this turned out, but please r/r! 


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